Presentiment, or Déjà Vu

See how the rain mists,
Pulling a grey blanket over
The landscape of wakefulness.

Being awake means so many things.
Fear means waking when your heart
Opens its valves to construct
Your being.
Vicariousness means waking
While in dreams:
While lying, an unfamiliar sun
Jolts you and forces your eyes open
To a foreign scene.

(Later, your eyes will stay open,
Prop-less).

In bed I pull my blanket
Over my eyes in a gesture
Of yearning.
I am awake with fear, you
With vicariousness.

Perhaps my students were right
After all, when they wrote
“I broke down into tears”;
Our constituent parts
Made out of so much water
Simply return to essence.

I hear your deep voice over the phone
Watching me breathe
Truths. When you accuse me of lying,
I choke a laugh and walk on.
The past is what lies for us
In the future, and silence

Is our cloud.

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